Working on my self portrait for my creativity class, I decided to use this quote from The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath. The words, reflected in my glasses, are a reflection of the tenacity of the spirit.
Many may wonder why I used these words as a representation of myself.
Sylvia’s thinly-veiled autobiographical story of her own coming of age factored as a large inspiration to me when I was a young woman. I found so many things in those pages that moved me; validating the things I felt, and helping me to identify the nature of what I came to understand later as my own depression.
Her words were very real. An unapologetic voice into a world that, at the time, kept the depression of young people tucked away in quiet hospitals masked as places to “get some rest”.
I needed to hear that voice at that time. It was a time of confusion, anger, angst, and sadness. I found the truest refuge from pain in words and books, and they helped me faced the demons I struggled with from day to day. Without the outlet of reading and writing, of art and photography, I may have found the demons much harder to face.
Reflecting on who I was, and how it shaped who I have become, I came to the quote above, and decided to included it with my painting. The heartbeat that moves me ever forwards, through dark nights of the soul, and even days of melancholy, will always echo, “I Am”.
Your Mad Girls Love Song brought me to my knees. A young poet so strikingly similar in sentiment, so very Honest in the way you represent pain. The very emptiness of youth’s depression; you were never afraid to show it’s grey shadow, to speak with a teenager’s cynicism about the horrors of the world around you. I grasped at the poems and pages like lifelines in my own solitude. You made it real and vanquished it with steel-tipped prose.
This collage is made primarily from my photos of my London trip in November of last year.(Sorry about the copy quality.) I assembled this for my Creativity class assignment that required us to illustrate a word that would make us understand it’s essence or meaning.
Because I’m old school, and definitely not a savvy student of computer design programs, this piece is done using cut and assemble techniques shown to me by my friend Steve. (Thanks Steve!)
X-acto Blades, images, and painters medium are part of the matrix of my happy place.